Never A Dull Moment

Some things are expected when I visit my mom at Spring Hills Assisted Living, and some are not.

Here's a snippet of what I expect to hear from my mom's friends :  discussion about the weather, a critique regarding menu options, whose kids or grandkids came to visit, and what management should be doing but isn't.  The same conversation could be had on any day of the week, which for some might seem rather mundane; yet, to me, while very predictable, is often quite pleasing.     

This past Friday afternoon, however, I was hit with the unexpected. 

It was a chilly day, and my mom and I were sitting around the fireplace, along with a dozen others.  I was sipping tea; she was having coffee.   One of the gentlemen there - the Elvis Presley of Spring Hills - asked how my coffee was. I told him I'm having tea, not coffee. He said he finds that tea drinkers are relaxed and peaceful people.  He then asked, "Are you that way?"  I said I hope so. 

He went on to say that he thinks tea drinkers also smoke pot. 

Wait a minute, Elvis. Where are you going with that?

Before I had too much time to wonder, he asked, "Have you ever smoked pot? " 

WHAT????  In front of my mom, he had to ask? 

I felt her eyes immediately move from Elvis to me, sporting the  infamous Florrie LOOK that has kept all her kids on their toes for many, many years.

When I fumbled my way around the question, he said something like, "What I meant to say was..."

Whew! I was relieved, but confused at the same time.  What could he have meant to say that came out as a question to me about whether I had ever smoked pot? 

He never did finish the sentence; he just refocused on sitting next to his wife, who looked asleep on one of the four recliners. As he walked in her direction, another woman 2 recliners over from his sleeping wife patted her thighs, whispering in to him that she'd like him to sit on her lap and she'll keep him warm. 

WHOA. This place was hopping.   Elvis not only put me on the hot seat, but he found himself there as well.  He's smooth, though...he sat down between the two women and closed his eyes.

Before long, we were face-to-face again at Shabbat Services, where the surprises kept on coming.

A woman walked in to the makeshift sanctuary smiling from ear to ear, stating she had just met her great, great granddaughter, who was one week old.  The rabbi said he hadn't come across anyone else with that distinction, until now.  She even stood up and did a little dance, which said it all.

This announcement required doing the math, because she seemed far too young to be the eldest of five generations.

I started to try to figure out if it was possible, but then I just had to stop, and laugh.    

Who could ask for better entertainment?