Rosh Hashanah 2022

Last week, my friend returned from a 3-week trip to Israel, where she’s visited many times over the years. She had gone to attend the Bat Mitzvah of her niece and decided to extend her stay, travel a bit, and hope to connect with family and friends.

I had texted her when I thought she’d have come back to make sure all was well. “Returned early in the a.m. yesterday exhausted and exhilarated,” she replied. She had me at “exhilarated.” I was eager to hear the juicy deets, so we made a plan to get together. 

Surely I could imagine why the trip would’ve been exhausting with all the airline travel, jet lag and moving from one destination to the next, so when we sat down for lunch, I was all ears about the other stuff she’d elaborate on when we were face-to-face. I thought she’d say something about the captivating nature of attending a Bat Mitzvah in Israel or about a friend she hadn’t seen in decades or of her memories of the years she spent living there, any or all of which would’ve explained her smile.  

Her response, however, was this: “I had no expectations.”

This left me with a “What?!?!?” type of reaction, but then she elaborated. Because she had no expectations, she was grateful for and moved by everything she experienced: for every family member/friend who took his/her time to spend with her, for every conversation, for every kindness, for every moment.

She found joy in all gestures big and small, went with the flow, and greatly appreciated the present.  

That’s not to say she wasn’t disappointed at times; she knew when planning the trip that there would be bumps in the road and there were, mostly due to COVID, which prevented her from seeing several people. But instead of letting that rattle her, she channeled her energy toward feeling lucky to have seen those she did.

This discussion was especially meaningful given that tonight is the start of Rosh Hashanah – the Jewish New Year – with the holiest day of the year, Yom Kippur, next week. This 10-day time span creates the perfect opportunity for me to reflect on the past year and mistakes I have made, focus on being a better person, and adjust how we approach each day going forward.     

My girlfriend’s story has helped to inspire me to work on shifting my expectations of what I think people and things should be to instead enjoying the beauty and value of what actually is in the here and now.