Once A Mom, Always A Mom

For those of us fortunate enough to have experienced the love of an adoring, supportive and caring mom, we must thank our lucky stars, because there is absolutely nothing else like it.    

I have a girlfriend named Bobbi and amazingly, at 67 years young, she still has both her mom (90) and dad (97).  Until about 8 months ago, her parents lived in the house where Bobbi and her 3 siblings grew up, about an hour away from where she lives now. They then moved into an independent senior living community that is only about a 10-minute walk from Bobbi’s and her sister’s homes.    

This new place has been a wonderful change for Bobbi’s parents, as they now have an easier, more relaxed and enjoyable way of life. Their meals are prepared for them, Bobbi’s mom plays cards and socializes with others in the building, and she likes her freedom to utilize the complex’s transportation services so that she can get around town without asking for additional assistance from her local family.

Topping the list of what her parents appreciate most about this move, I’m pretty sure, is living in such close proximity to two of their four adult children, grandkids and great grandkids.

About a month ago, I was taking a walk with Bobbi and asked what she was planning to do that afternoon. She told me she was going to visit her parents, because “My mom has a hard-boiled egg waiting for me.” This took a moment for me to digest, especially given the fact that I had just made a half dozen that morning…and then, thinking I misheard or misunderstood something, asked…WHAT?

She semi laughed and said her mom called to tell her that she put a hard-boiled egg aside – an egg that she brought up to their apartment from the community refrigerator (before the price of eggs soared) because she knows how much Bobbi likes them. I laughed, thinking WOW! Who else but a mom would do this?

A couple of months ago, I asked Bobbi how her parents were doing. She said she had just seen them, and they were good. I asked whether there was a particular reason she went to visit…in jest, I asked, “Another hard-boiled egg?” This time, she is the one who laughed. She said her mom had put cut-up fruit aside for her because she knows how much Bobbi likes it. I said “Oh, how nice that she made it for you,” but then Bobbi explained that the fruit was from her mom’s meal – left over from her dinner plate – but she didn’t eat it because she wanted to save it for Bobbi. Her mom then called to suggest she come over ASAP to eat it while it was still fresh. Bobbi obliged.

When I told her how special I think it is that her mom does this, and how these gestures show how much she is thinking about Bobbi, she added that her mom often calls her when fresh cookies are baked and still warm – daily – and placed in the community kitchen for all to have.

I don’t know what brings her mom more pleasure here – absconding with food to give to Bobbi or when Bobbi comes over for it.

While there is some element of Bobbi’s mom luring her daughter to visit with the promise of her favorite foods, this scenario is such a genuine act of true love between a parent and child.

And even though Bobbi is a grandmom herself, she still seeks the companionship of her mom in much of her life and is so comforted by her as well. This has been a beautiful reminder to me, 10 years after my own mom’s passing, that I once felt this way too. 

There is something so pure, so tender and so unique about a mother’s love.

I was so lucky to have one…and to be one.