Our Shea

This past week, we were forced to put our dear Shea Doggy down due to his health issues. We are so grateful that for over 12 years, he provided us with endless joy and companionship...if only doggies could live forever.

It was love at first sight when I had my first glimpse of Shea, a bichon-shih tzu mix. He was in a crate, and I could see his little white and fluffy face with black and brown patches and big black eyes looking back at me through the door. He was the cutest thing I had ever seen.

We were bringing this little puppy into our chaotic family life at the request of Matthew, David’s son, who returned from college for cancer treatment. He named him Shea (rhymes with May), being the New York sports fan that he was, for Shea Stadium.

Shea quickly began to transform our lives in unimaginable ways. We went from 2 families with 5 teenagers under one roof with everyone focusing on themselves to all hanging out and loving the same dog. Whether watching him from a distance or snuggling him, he made everything better, creating a serene vibe that we appreciated and acknowledged. Making us feel at peace was Shea’s superpower.

When Matthew passed, Shea’s presence became even more crucial for David, with Shea acting as the bridge for life with Matthew to life without Matthew. Now that Shea is gone, I know David is struggling with the gaping hole of not being able to curl up with his best buddy throughout the day and spoon him to his (David’s) heart’s content.   

As for me, I long for that bedtime routine when he would sleep on my legs or nuzzle into my feet, always keeping me warm and cozy on cold winter nights. Even though I often couldn’t fully stretch my legs and they’d cramp up, there was something very sweet and comforting knowing our boy was right there, where I could even feel him breathing.

Our house is so quiet and seems so empty without him.

A Reversal of Roles

A dear friend of mine has a 33-year-old daughter who just got a new job. She had been a recreational therapist for a few years and wanted to change course and get into administrative work in a setting that involved healthcare. She had three interviews on Zoom and didn’t go into the office until her first day.

When she entered her new workplace, she was in for a surprise. She immediately noticed that of about 15 others, she was the ONLY white person.

She had known that the company is a Black-owned business, and she had met with three Black men and women to talk about the position. I’m sure she expected that she’d have Black and other minority co-workers and she was good with that, as she has always appreciated the diversity she experienced in high school, college, city living and in previous jobs, along with various friendships over the years.

While being in the minority may have crossed her mind, she surely didn’t expect to be the ONLY white person working in the office...would any white person expect this? While it’s not unusual to work in an environment that is mixed, or where one person is a different color than the rest, it is, I believe, highly unusual for a white person to be the one who stands out.  

It was the norm for a Black person to be the one and only in the pediatric office where I had worked; in my 18 years there, I can only remember 3 Black employees: two overlapped but that was short-lived; usually there was only one Black person there at any given time.

I used to wonder what it was like for my Black coworkers to come in every day to this sea of whiteness, with 25 to 30 of us surrounding them. A lot of these white women were bigoted too – in addition to women often being catty and horrible to each other – so these Black women had a lot to endure and try to ignore. I’m sure they chose to look the other way and not make a stink, because my guess is that, sadly, this is the world they are used to.

It’s been a week since my friend’s daughter has been going to her new workplace. She told her mom she's been enthusiastically greeted by many of the women and that one day they chanted her name and said, “You’re part of the morning crew now.”

She was absolutely delighted to be given such a warm welcome and to feel that not only does she think she belongs there, but her coworkers do too.