Rosh Hashanah 2022

Last week, my friend returned from a 3-week trip to Israel, where she’s visited many times over the years. She had gone to attend the Bat Mitzvah of her niece and decided to extend her stay, travel a bit, and hope to connect with family and friends.

I had texted her when I thought she’d have come back to make sure all was well. “Returned early in the a.m. yesterday exhausted and exhilarated,” she replied. She had me at “exhilarated.” I was eager to hear the juicy deets, so we made a plan to get together. 

Surely I could imagine why the trip would’ve been exhausting with all the airline travel, jet lag and moving from one destination to the next, so when we sat down for lunch, I was all ears about the other stuff she’d elaborate on when we were face-to-face. I thought she’d say something about the captivating nature of attending a Bat Mitzvah in Israel or about a friend she hadn’t seen in decades or of her memories of the years she spent living there, any or all of which would’ve explained her smile.  

Her response, however, was this: “I had no expectations.”

This left me with a “What?!?!?” type of reaction, but then she elaborated. Because she had no expectations, she was grateful for and moved by everything she experienced: for every family member/friend who took his/her time to spend with her, for every conversation, for every kindness, for every moment.

She found joy in all gestures big and small, went with the flow, and greatly appreciated the present.  

That’s not to say she wasn’t disappointed at times; she knew when planning the trip that there would be bumps in the road and there were, mostly due to COVID, which prevented her from seeing several people. But instead of letting that rattle her, she channeled her energy toward feeling lucky to have seen those she did.

This discussion was especially meaningful given that tonight is the start of Rosh Hashanah – the Jewish New Year – with the holiest day of the year, Yom Kippur, next week. This 10-day time span creates the perfect opportunity for me to reflect on the past year and mistakes I have made, focus on being a better person, and adjust how we approach each day going forward.     

My girlfriend’s story has helped to inspire me to work on shifting my expectations of what I think people and things should be to instead enjoying the beauty and value of what actually is in the here and now.

 

Laurence

One month out, I’m still thinking about a man named Laurence who I met this summer while David and I vacationed in Maine.

He is one of the two proprietors of The Trellis House B&B, where we stayed in Ogunquit. He has the perfect personality for this role: warm and welcoming, eager to please, focused on our dietary preferences for breakfast and, with a very natural, relaxed vibe, made us feel that his home was our home.     

It was one of the hottest days on record when we arrived. David and I had already walked around town for a couple of hours because we were so early, and we were drenched, exhausted, and miserable – we looked like angry, wet rats. I was also in a wicked mood because I had lost my favorite visor earlier in the day and had become further aggravated when David said not to worry about it because I could buy one there - but, to be fair to him, he did help me retrace my steps and identified the store I left without the visor on my head.

Laurence saw what a hot mess we were, and he immediately offered us drinks. When he went into the kitchen, I walked around the living room checking everything out and found a framed wedding picture with him in it.  

I was and wasn’t surprised that the photo was of two men.

I could feel their joy emanating through the glass, and I found myself kvelling over this union, like I was their mother or their sister, so proud and happy that these two gentlemen found one another.

I was looking forward to meeting Glen, Laurence’s husband. Since we hadn’t seen him that first day, I had assumed that Laurence was the face of the B&B and that Glen handled the behind-the-scenes responsibilities. The next morning, however, Glen greeted us for breakfast and was just as perky as his counterpart had been the day before.  

Later on, we went to the Inn’s Happy Hour. It was as if we and the other two couples – one a man and woman, second marriage; the other a lesbian couple who were dating but not living together yet – were their longtime friends, as conversation and laughter flowed among us.

Either due to the reporter in me or because I’m so nosy, I took advantage of the opportunity to talk with Laurence about how he got to where he is today.

Soon I learned their “story,” which they must’ve shared hundreds of times over the eight years they’ve owned Trellis House: Laurence left Human Resources in corporate America to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a B&B owner, while Glen, also well-established in the working world, joined Laurence a year or so later.

They started with one building in Ogunquit and expanded to form a B&B complex of three, along with the growth of their very classy brand that has elevated Trellis House to the winner of Trip Advisor’s Certificate of Excellence in 2021 and one of the Top 25 B&Bs/Inns in the United States, for four consecutive years. The B&B was also featured on the Price as Right as a destination vacation.

A group of people stopped by during Happy Hour. Laurence was so excited to see them, like a little boy who was reunited with longtime friends and family. One woman told him how good he looked and then he told her he had lost some weight. Glen must’ve seen me glued to this dynamic while everyone else was minding their own business and then mentioned to me that Laurence had been down in the dumps but he’s much better now. I could feel the love and concern he had for his partner.

Trellis House is worthy of the awards it has garnered. It is an absolutely lovely place to be. Our room was tastefully decorated, comfortable, and relaxing; we could sit on our private balcony and see a glimpse of the Atlantic Ocean; breakfast was delicious; Happy Hour was fun; proximity to town is within walking distance; and to top it all off, they have a dog named Bentley wandering around whose hair looked and felt like Shea Doggy’s.

While I appreciated all these fabulous selling points and was delighted to hear about what may have been a fairytale dream-come-true for Laurence/Glen, I’m not so naïve as to think their lives have played out without obstacles...like the ones that defy human rights, such as being free to be who you are and love who you want.

We had a wonderful week in Maine as we always do, I found my visor and, and thanks to Instagram, I can relive The Trellis House experience anytime at all.