Steve

Once a role model, always a role model, even in death.

Steve Lahav was that kind of guy - one who taught what is right by doing it himself.  

Today was his unveiling. Nature gave us a beautiful day to commemorate the life of this fine man.

When I got to Crescent Memorial Park, I saw Josh, Steve's older son, preparing to put on his kipah (head covering) in preparation for the service.  He stopped midstream and said, "I always keep this in my car."  He turned it over to show me what was printed inside:  Matthew Minches, with the date of his Bar Mitzvah, stamped in gold.    

I hadn't even been there 2 minutes, and I was already balling.

"My dad told me to always carry one of these, because you never know when you need it," he said.  While this is true - there's always a need unfortunately - the fact that Josh carries Matthew's with him reminded me immediately of what a supportive friend Steve had been to David when Matthew passed.  David never failed to mention to me that he could see Steve tearing up every time they talked about Matthew. 

As we positioned ourselves for the service, Josh and Adam, Steve's younger son, stood on either side of their mom (Marcy) with Andrea, Josh's fiancee, on the other side of Josh and her brother standing behind her. 

I thought about the conversations David and I had with Steve and Marcy as they shared not only their willingness but their desire and potential plan to enlarge their home to  accommodate more living space for Josh and Andrea and for anyone in her family who wanted to join them.   David and I thought they might really enjoy the opportunity to take some time just for themselves, but it was clear they would trade all that in for a life with more family instead, each and every time the subject was broached.

I also remembered the many dinners the four of us had when Steve would reference conversations he had with his sister Ellen and her husband Michael, both of whom lived in Israel.  It was like they were next-door neighbors.  The speech his brother-in-law gave at the unveiling confirmed the close relationship he was so desperately missing.

Last year, Steve and Marcy drove to Florida to bring his ailing dad closer to them, and Adam spent many days helping and hanging out with his dad and granddad.  Caring for an old and sickly parent/grandparent is something we all know is very difficult and often not something we embrace, but it was nothing out of the ordinary for the Lahav family.

Role models can go either way - teach how you want to be or how you don't want to be - but when I looked at the boys at the unveiling, I saw in them the very best kind of role model shine through.

It didn't take long - just a few months after Steve passed - for Josh and Andrea to open up their own home to Andrea's brother to finish up his high school year with them.  Talk about a chip off the old block.

So as I stood there listening to the terrific cantor Jen Cohen from Temple Beth Sholom chant a few prayers, as well as to the speeches of Steve's wife, brother-in-law and soon-to-be daughter-in law, I said to myself that Steve has given his boys the best gift they could ever get:  a most loving and responsible perspective on family, as well as insight into how smart he was to marry Marcy, one of the most compassionate and giving women on the planet.

This is a family who will be together forever, whether in the same proximity or thousands of miles apart, who will stand by each other in times of sickness and in health, for as long as they all shall live.