Deja VIew

My 2^nd road trip to southwest Florida with Andrea, my daughter’s mother-in-law, went off without a hitch. Mostly everything about the 18-20 hour ride itself was on auto pilot from our last trip: a cooler filled with iced waters and egg salad and lots of fruits/vegetables and, much to Andrea’s chagrin, a huge supply of peanut M&Ms. We also kept a bag of masks, sanitizer and gloves accessible on the front passenger side floor.

And once again, we didn’t make bathroom stops to or from, but I don’t know if that makes us an impressive duo or a crazy one. 

Pulling up to the kids’ house around 4:30 pm on our 2^nd day of driving, we ran in quickly – of course to go to the bathroom, but equally as pressing was to see our kids and of course 4-month-old Zoey. 

Proud grandmas who view everything she does as magic, we began our picture-taking spree immediately. We carried our phones from room to room so as not to miss one new and/or endearing second. After all, it had been 3 months since we had seen her, so we had to make up for lost time.

As we moved around the house day after day, I would often misplace my phone and then feel compelled to remind Andrea to send me the images she took, and vice versa. I found myself getting agitated when neither of us was prepared to photograph one of Zoey’s fancy new moves. It reminded me of how a girlfriend of mine felt cheated when she walked 10,000 steps but had forgotten to wear her Fitbit and missed out on the congratulatory vibration of the device for reaching that milestone.

One night after dinner, the 5 of us went on a walk together: Allison, Dave, Zoey, Andrea and me. Dave created a seat in his arms to hold Zoey facing outward, and she was wearing super cool sunglasses that Andrea had bought for her that matched Dave’s. 

Halfway through, Andrea said she wished she had brought her phone to take photos of us all together on the walk. I felt disappointed that I too hadn't taken mine and that the kids hadn't brought theirs either.      

“You don’t need to take a picture. Just enjoy the moment,” said Dave, sensing our disappointment.

H U H?

I had to let that sink in. I considered this thinking before, when I had taken my then-2 year-old granddaughter Eliana to a local gym to play on my babysitting Tuesdays. I’d be so busy taking one photo after the next that I couldn’t assist her as I wanted or even relish in her actions or reactions. It didn’t stop me, though, from joining so many others doing the same thing.

On this walk, however, I appreciated the idea of watching and enjoying without feeling the responsibility of  photographing everything Zoey did or videotaping her as she “talked” up a storm.   

There’s no doubt that trying to capture memories interferes with living in the moment, especially when I'm thinking about how to photograph a person or scene. Then by moving around to find the best vantage point, I've potentially become a distraction myself and run the risk of changing the scene, thus ruining the opportunity to get a good shot altogether anyway.

It becomes even more problematic when I look at the picture I just took and start assessing whether it’s acceptable or if I should try from another angle or for a better smile and if I want to add sequential pictures and so on. Before long, I find my energy being sucked up by the quality of the picture instead of the beauty of the current situation.       

While a good photo in my iPhone would always be nice to have as well as to show and send to others, once I relaxed without the phone in my hand as we continued on our walk, I was able to revel in the joy of my daughter’s family and the experiences we were all sharing.

Today was Eliana’s 3^rd birthday party and guess how many pictures I took? Only 6!  

The rest of the time, I just watched and smiled. No better way to spend an afternoon!