A Little Privacy, Please

Nothing like a memorable conversation, each and every time.

This topic, however, shouldn’t be as hush-hush in everyday life as it seems to be, however intimate it is.  Why we women tiptoe around this subject like delicate wallflowers is beyond me, and yet we do it all the time, whispering as we broach the topic, even more so as we debate it.

Take for example the other night, when I went out with an old friend and a relatively new friend. We were gabbing about everything from A to Z…one thing led to another and before long, we were huddled around the table talking about, of all things, our…gynecologists. 

It seems that talking about one’s gynecologist is taboo, or at least takes us out of our comfort zone, yet many of us have turned our bodies over to them – by my age – many times, birthday suit and all.   

OK so I have a male gynecologist who is sweet as sugar.  He brought 2 of my 3 kids into this world.  He sure knew how to make me swoon.  This guy bought me a bag of Oreos after I delivered my middle child, a pregnancy made much more challenging by gestational diabetes.  My first cookie after months and months of deprivation.  Need I say more? 

But heck…would I rather have a female gynecologist?  Absolutely!  In fact, when I had an issue a few years ago and his female counterpart was covering for him, I was secretly delighted.  Just the fact that she was a woman put me completely at ease. No need to TRY to relax or to TRY to make conversation so the exam didn’t feel as awkward as it really was.  I’d go back to her in a minute, if I didn’t feel guilty that I was cheating on him.

But would I go back to her if I knew she’s a … lesbian?

Why this question even comes up is a mystery, yet it always does, when we women talk about our gynecologists. 

How is this any different than going to a male, who we’d assume for the sake of argument, is a heterosexual?  The gynecologist who bought me the cookies appears to be, with a picture of his wife and kids on his desk, and I have no apprehension about that, so why would a lesbian pose a problem? 

Perhaps the issue is that we women want to know with relative certainty that, as irresistible as we may be, our caregiver wouldn’t take advantage of us in our most exposed and vulnerable state.  And how better to seal the deal than by seeking the attention of someone we’re relatively sure wouldn’t be attracted to women at any time, like a gay male or female heterosexual gynecologist. I certainly wouldn’t want to put all those male heterosexuals out of business, though.  They’ve kept us and our kids safe from womb through their first public cry.  They deserve better.

So while most of us end up saying it doesn’t matter if we go male, female, gay, straight, consensus seems to be – based on many conversations over the years – that women prefer to be cared for by women, regardless of their sexual preference.

That is, unless you’re my other friend who says she’d always choose a male because she thinks men are inherently smarter, but that’s a blog for another day.