The Flowers

When my husband walked in with flowers, I was a bit puzzled.

It wasn’t Mother’s Day, or my birthday, and I didn’t think we were in the throws of a heated argument.  We definitely weren’t in sync last Sunday morning, however, with agitation on my part brewing before I even got out of bed. Still, the little bit of quibbling we had been doing - via text - didn’t seem to warrant such a dramatic measure.   

I had been peeved that David left for his haircut without first walking Shea doggy, who was lying in the bed with me.  He of course had a different take on the matter. He said if Shea was still in bed, why did he have to take him out for a walk right then?  My response was that once our doggy hears his daddy going somewhere, he will most likely jump out of bed, run downstairs, start barking at other doggies he sees from the window and then I’ll be forced to take him outside right away.  Plain and simple, I wanted a morning off and was irked that he didn’t consider this as he went about his business.  

But instead of waiting till he returned home to talk about it, or better yet moving past it altogether, I felt compelled to convey my thoughts as I was experiencing them.  This is one of the more troublesome outgrowths of wishing I'd been more forthcoming with my feelings in marriage number one.  Ten years into marriage number two, watch out.

In retrospect, which is generally how my more productive thinking evolves, I handled my frustration poorly, allowing fleeting emotions to take over with unwarranted urgency and significance.  I’m sure David was asking himself why his wife got so bent out of shape over something minor in the scheme of things. That is indeed a good question. But you know how once the process of airing one’s grievances is underway, the act itself of spouting such gripes could take on a life of its own?  It could lead us down a path that has no benefits, leaving us both depleted and bitter, making it so difficult to get back on track, with the cause for the discord not only unnecessary but unclear over time.  This isn't how I want my relationship with David to play out.  

So when he returned from his haircut with bagels (expected) and flowers (not expected), I wasn’t sure what he was saying. He could see the confusion in my face and said “I just want us to enjoy today.”

I appreciated that.

He heard me, and I heard him.