Father's Day 2022

When I see my son and sons-in-law shower their babies – our grandchildren – with love and affection, I feel so warm and fuzzy inside.

It’s a beautiful thing to see our daughters and daughter-in-law also display such delight; I can still feel the thrill I felt around my babies, even though it’s been decades since giving birth.

But, for some reason, watching a dad immersed in the magic of his little one stops me in my tracks.   

There’s just something about seeing a grown man envelop a tiny baby in his massive hands, talk several octaves above his own or so tenderly kiss the delicious cheeks of his toddler that I find...captivating.

Creating bonds with our young may feel like the most natural thing in the world, yet one of the more challenging to maintain seems to be between fathers and daughters.

While starting off as a love fest between daddy and baby daughter, this relationship becomes more complex as she begins to mature and starts to develop a mind of her own.

I’m surely no expert on this, but it has always fascinated me given the changing role of men and women in society. Back in the 1960s when I was a wee tot, my dad was responsible for supporting the family and my mom, who also worked, handled the care of 2 boys and 2 girls and many other aspects of our lives.  

Since my mom was at home more often than my dad and spent eons of time and energy relating to me, I naturally began to gravitate more to her. Add to that the physical and emotional tumult of my life when puberty set in and I got my period, needed to shave and wear a bra, I’d never have thought to go to my dad. It would have been too embarrassing to even talk to him about any one of these things even though I was forced to when he caught me one day using his razor. 

It was my mom who took me shopping (until I could go with my friends); it was my mom I went to when I wanted to talk about my girlfriends and boyfriends (and husbands). She gave me her heart and wisdom, and I always knew my feelings were safe with her.

There wasn’t much to talk about with my dad; we lived on different planets, without a bridge linking them. I remember being so excited in high school that I had a boyfriend who smoked cigars; I thought this might ignite conversation and interest with my cigar-smoking dad but let’s just say...he wasn’t impressed.    

For the most part, I didn’t think much about the individual roles of mom and dad until I became a mom. That’s when I realized how unprepared I was as a new parent wanting to raise happy, confident, kind and well-rounded kids. How would this be accomplished? I had no clue, so I started reading everything and talking to everyone.

It became clear in my quest for information that both emotionally healthy moms AND dads have the potential to benefit their kids in infinite ways.

In today’s families, with two working parents and shared duties to keep the household running smoothly, both parents have the opportunity to participate in child rearing. This means that the child can learn from and experience the best and most unique qualities of mom AND dad on a regular basis.   

Studies have shown that while both parents have important roles to play, the relationship dad has with his daughter can be life-defining, impacting her self-esteem, body image, behavior, relationships, academics and so on. A daughter also benefits greatly by learning about her dad and being exposed to his work, hobbies and perspectives, as well as her mom’s.  

In addition, and so importantly, dads are likely their daughters’ first and most influential role model, setting the standard for expectations on how men should treat women and what strong, healthy relationships look like.

In short – after a very long blog post – I have high hopes for these men in my life to give our grandchildren the very best they can, along with these amazing moms I get to call my daughters.